When GM takes on Microsoft

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One of the many forwards that reach me; I present to you one of those...

Now that you are here....

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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."


In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):


1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.


2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.


3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.


4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.


6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.


7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.


8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.


9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.


10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
"

The forwards...

With so many forwards, one for you...

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.


2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you are feree.


3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right andthe other is the husband!


4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - butthey wanted cash.


5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you'vepurchased new school uniforms.


6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.


7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one youcannot live without...but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.


8. You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it.


9. True friends stab you in the front.


10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.


11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.


12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you gettired


13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agreeswith me.


14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.


15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.


16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, hestill ends up with the same boss.


17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldomgets to speak.


18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have doneit for you.


19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talkbecause they have to say something


20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between addressbooks

Voilla! Analytical Learner... Blah! Blah!

To gauge yourself take the test!

Here are your survey results!

Your Cognitive Style Index is 46 which indicates that you are an Analytical learner.

This survey measured your Cognitive Style. Cognitive Style affects how you organize and process new information while learning.

Intuitive learners [scores of 0 to 38] are less concerned with detail. They have an open-ended approach to solving problems and work best without strict rules. They are in touch with their feelings and need to feel personally involved in their work.

Analytical learners [scores of 39 to 76] give attention to detail. They focus on facts and "hard data" and rely on what experts say. They are logical in their approach to learning and do things step-by-step. They excel in structured, well-organized learning situations.

Neutral learners [scores of around 38] can learn using both intuitive and analytic modes.

Thanks again for taking the time to complete the survey,

Elena

Managers in an autorickshaw

It was raining in the morning day before yesterday. And I overslept. Woke complete 1 hour late than usual, missed my company cab and had to hire an autorickshaw to office. Rs. 70.00 down the drain. :(


A peculiar thing that I observed is that on every signalled crossing the autorickshaw driver killed the engine. And then just 2-3 seconds before the signal turned green he started the engine. I was amazed at the accuracy of his estimation. This was not a stand alone case but I observed the same thing at all the crossings. I put my brain to some rigorous work and dug into all the memories of travel in an autorickshaw and found that this was true for all aurtorickshaw drivers and at all crossings. Amazing.


Why don't all the managers undergo a trainning course on how to drive an autorickshaw, of duration 1 year or 6 months so that they can be better at estimation. They are pathetic are estimating how much time is required to finish a project. Way off the track. Or else what? I finished Harry Potter and the Order of pheonix and Da Vini Code in office, Half way through the Lord of the Rings trilogy...


Add to this that you can shout and swear at your manager, which you definitely cannot do in routine office life but can certainly do when he's a autorickshaw driver.


BTW this is does not in any way relate to my manager. He's a nice person very efficient and effective in all the things he does.


Does anyone of you people know him?