The mom's delight to kid's plight

.
Well we have seen it all in the movies and the advertisements on the TV. I sometimes feel that it is all because of that idiot box. Probably that's the reason why I still do not have that one at home!

It is all over the place; the movies like Because I said so, the matrimony website advert where the dad runs, with the groom's turban in his hand, after every guy he sees , and so many others of the kind.

I graduated from the college with not so high flying colors and finished my PGDIT. My director always referred to it as M.Tech, all the time clapping his hands. Those who were present there will know what I mean to say. Anyways, that was in 2004. It has been 4 years since.

Given the age that most people complete there masters you can do the math, whatever.

So, where was I?

Yeah. Now that I have been in the job for 4 years, I truly qualify as an eligible bachelor. At least everybody else feels so, if not me. My neighbors at home for certain. "He is educated, earns well and is till not married!. There must be something wrong with him!". I guess that is what driving my parents bonkers. Why don't the old women of the neighborhood have any thing better to do than to talk about why somebody is married, why somebody isn't and why somebody's daughter/son eloped with somebody else.

Well I understand the pressure that my parents would be going through. Even though those who talk, seldom look at their own household and those who don't know the reality, that things take their own merry time to happen, even marriage. But public hai....

So, this Saturday, while I was cooking something for my lunch, Rajma masala and rice, I got a call from my mother.

Who is this girl XYZ (name changed).

Well she is so and so.

She mailed me. How did she get my e-mail address and that too the official one.

Mom! how am I supposed to know. Google around and you'd find that your e-mail address is listed in so many place. Anyways what did she write about. But I still do not know why would she e-mail you. We worked together like 3 years ago.

The mail talks about an invitation to ABC.com (website name change). that was in fact a professional networking site.

Oh! You can safely delete that e-mail. And I explained what that was all about.

Ok. But I did visit that website. The girl looks good and is Assistant Manger. To my scientist mother that was a very educated girl in a good profession and in a good company. Well here, in this part of the world, the word manager certainly rings bells and for sure event the fused light bulbs also become very radiant, and what we have here, she is a mega watts of search light.

Mom! Come on.

Well the snap of you and your friend wasn't that sharp and good, and this one looked like her. So I just thought if she is the one, she looks good and lets talk about it!

Mom, she is not the one whose picture you saw. And I don't want to talk about her. And if this how you will talk about all my friends one by one, then I will stop telling you about my friends.

Nah! It is not like what you think. I just thought if you have somebody in mind, lets talk about her!

Ma, if I really did have any, I would have told you and dad about it a long time ago.

As you say. But I did see her profile there.

Ma, that profile will tell you nothing about what you are looking for, that a professional networking site.

But you can find a lot about a person, can't you?

And then the conversation enters that never ending circle, where you have to say, "Oh my God! The rice is on fire, I better go and take care of my lunch!"

But keep your eyes open!

I love you mum. :)

Words of Wisdom

Fewer words of wisdom have been in said in lesser words:

Man proposes, God disposes; and either way the woman doesn't agree.

Reality after a Nightmare

I saw him, my manager. He was standing in the corner sipping his hot cup of coffee. And yes that one cup of hot morning coffee can make your day.

As I pour myself a cup of coffee, I walk towards him.

"Good Morning. How was your morning?"

"Good. So how's life?"

"Till now life's treating me."

"Good."

"I want to go onsite for a long assignment."

"Why what happened suddenly? You are just back from you last trip. How many months since you came back?"

"Eight. If not a long assignment then short ones back to back would do."

"Talk to me."

"No its just that I want to buy some more stuff. You get it cheap over
there in US."

A loud laugh, "Is that the truth?"

"No. My parents are pushing me to get married."

There's no more coffee.

Nightmares of a Bachelor

It has been a wonderful day since morning and I look forward to it being the same way until its time to go to bed.

The ‘now’ is as good as it could ever be.

I am dancing with a lovely lady to the tunes of Salsa music; we both look into each other’s eyes enjoying the music, the dance and the company of each other.

Ah! There’s this cupboard on my right with its door wide open. The door has a glass on it, just like the so many 'glass covered wall panels', so that the entire dance floor looks like one huge room, where ever you see you see some reflection of something. It is good to have one, just in case if you do not enjoy dancing with your current partner or if he/she isn’t that good looking you can look/stare at so many others present.

Anyways, the door is wide open and there is every likelihood that my lady, in course of doing those multi spins, might bump into it and hurt herself and hurt herself real bad.

So I excuse myself, slide towards the door and close it.

The lady is happy and I am back on the dance floor. Through the dance I comb her hairs with my head, taking my hand from her forehead into her hairs to her neck adn over her shoulders, with her hand flowing my hand; not that she needs any combing but that it is a step in that combination, a way to unlock the hands.

“Oh My God!” she screamed.

She had looked at her reflection in one of those numerous not hard to find mirrors.

There was blood on the forehead, on her hairs, on her neck and on her shoulders. I panicked, “You are bleeding! Are you hurt?” While I talk and gesticulate, my palms faced the ceiling and she saw it.

There was a big gash on my right thumb, blood was flowing freely and while combing hairs I had accidentally smeared her forehead, her hairs, her neck and her shoulder with my blood.

While closing the door, I had hurt myself.

A scene so beautifully lifted from those numerous Remember Me Not Bollywood flicks.

I took her to wash room so that she could wash off all that blood and I tied my handkerchief around the gash.

Then it was a field day for all the other females present there on the dance floor.

“You’ve got married to him! The filmi style… ”

I was sweating, breathing hard, wheezing, out of breath. I have pain in my left shoulder. I hear a horn in the background.

I wake up; my t-shirt drenched in my sweat, a car takes a turn somewhere.

A scary dream. A Nightmare.

Disclaim-ed Post...

Disclaimer: The following post might be offending to those who are better halves, would be better halves, were better halves and want to better halves of somebody. I do not condone and appreciate the behavior mentioned in the post, and is described here for … well you read the post.


I have this new old friend. He’s new because I met him only 3 years back, and he’s old because of all those friends I have had made in these last 3 years he was probably the first.

So this friend of mine got married recently, as recent as 1 year back. Standing at 5 feet mark he’s not that tall, but he compensates for those missing good inches with his ever growing waistline. “Can’t help! She is good at cooking and makes delicious food”, he retorts. Every body who walks by and knows him kind of punches him in the belly and smiles, and some who are funnier, like me, ask “When is the baby due?” A sheepish smile is the short answer to the long question.

But he still clings on to his days of bachelorhood. And the incidents stated are reminiscent of those days.

We often meet at this place; everybody in the world knows that it is a secret place. And so very often we have this beautiful lady visiting this place; and every time my dear friend sees her, the adrenalin shoots up and his want for staying there for long gets longer. A strange happiness results in a picture perfect ear to ear Colgate smile, and even if you do not know, you can be 100 time infinity percent sure that she is somewhere around. This all seems very filmi, especially if you have recently cried over Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum. And like all filmi heroes, superheroes and always zeros this gentleman has a filmi name ‘Rohit’. Quite filmi !!

So this other day when this filmi Rohit and I were in the secret building waiting for the elevator to come and elevate us to the top floor, this pericardium, the sinoatrial node of his life suddenly appeared on the same floor. A flash of lightening somewhere, and I instantly knew that it was the Colgate smile and that the lady was somewhere near. Waiting for the elevator on the same floor, there were we three and some other don’t cares. The elevator stopped and incidentally it was empty, normally it is never. My friend later told me it was good or else we three would have to split in two and one. No, I didn’t have the guts to ask whether that one was me or somebody else. In the lift this gentleman was in the seventh heaven (maybe even more if somebody can prove that there are more)

With heels of more than what looked like mighty six inches, she stood a little taller than 5 feet 3 inches, give or take. The swelling waistline suddenly reduced and the chest was up and out. Had it been a second more, the ribs would have had opened outward, and the heart would making a 100m sprint for every femto-meter, would have been running around pole-vaulting on the elevator floor.

The door opened and we went to the coffee bar and the lady went the other way. Until this day I probably never knew how much fun it was to walk backwards.

Over the cup of coffee the dam-ned drooling started. Here a confession, actually we both did and it looked like I was still a novice in drooling. I am sure he must have been a US Marine or a secret agent before we met, or in his earlier life. Just one look and so much observed and absorbed! “Did you see …(I cant pen down what he said because I won’t be able to do justice to the words and the intensity of those words, but it was nothing that you may start saying Ahaa... Hmmm…WHAT? Perverts…. ) I’d say he said something about a perfect sine curve and other curves, of the scintillating radiant skin, of the pearly teeth, of the beautiful earring… and I dozed off.

And just then we were interrupted by a third common friend, code named Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin, who without being told anything he understood what has happened in the immediate past. He laughed until he could laugh no more; pearls of joy rolled down his cheeks. Then we both started hitting him, though not hard, reminding him he is married and its time to let go of those days of bachelorhood.

One last word he said “Beautiful…”, we saw a flash of a fleeting shadow disappearing in that distant door…

PS: When I told to my psychiatrist friend about my new post, he very coolly, as a matter of fact said “Telling one’s story as a friend’s story, has been an old method of talking about oneself”. And I fell to the ground laughing; rolled on the flooe as the spasms in my stomach became unbearable ...

And do not ask me which better half I was referring to.