No Title

Today I’m feeling like a real animal. Raw Wild and weird.

Ever since I was able to understand and make decisions, I've found that sex is such a hush hush kind of secret thing. I do not understand the rationale behind it. Why?

The Hindu mythology is full of descriptions of sex, but alas they too are slanting in their mention. We have monuments like Kahjuraho temple built to incite that Kaam iccha in then ruling king. The great Kamsutra was written to help the people who read it; to give them the ultimate satisfaction in the thing . If you have seen the recent movie Hum Tum you'll call it Ding Dong . :). I imagine the bell. Real raw wild and wierd.

The great epic Mahabharata has Sun God coming down on earth and blessing Kunti with Karna. Bless. Oh! Common. Either it was that Ding Dong, no offence to anybody, or else it could what we are trying to do now. Artificial insemination and all that weirdo things.

And Gandhari giving birth to 101 children (100 boys and 1 girl) from that lump of flesh. This also was some kind of mitotic or meiotic generation of embryo, which developed into human life forms. These would have been the techniques used but the great writers either didn't have any clue about it, didn't understand it or else it would have been a closely guarded secret amongst the great kings and their generation. Why so? Imagine having 100s of those demons all same, exact replica of each other. This alludes to fact that if these mitotic or meiotic techniques of having baby were not there then it was sex, a hush hush and secret thing. Even in Ramayana one finds references to such instance.

Flash back over. Come to recent past; the movies of late 50s to 90s. Lead actor and actress move into a house, CUT, show two flowers meet. They are about to kiss, CUT, show two flowers meet. As if it is an offence to see what is very much a part of everybody's life.

All that censor and social policing makes me lauff. As if all this mushy stuff is not available in the market. Go to any CD shop and you'll find a good collection. Still it is that hush hush secret stuff.

After all God made two separate entities man and woman so that they could come together, Ding Dong and have children. Spread the signs of human race to distant lands. If he didn't wanted Ding Dong he would have made just one, man or woman. But he didn't, I can make a wild guess. He didn't or else there would be too many humans. At least making two separate entities makes sure that we do other stuff also rather just procreating.

Ever since I was able to understand and make decisions, I've found that sex is such a hush hush kind of secret thing. I do not understand the rationale behind it. Why is it so?

Educate my soul.
BTW chkout this link

Don't read this post. Already have. :( Forget it.

Why Smoke and Booze...

Why do people shout so much about those who somke and drink. What they don't understand is that those people have good reasons to do so. Being rejected by the nature when she was distributing that very rare intellect, they took to these to improve. Wondering how?

A famous wild life safari goer and observer, as far as I remember, once said
" A herd of buffaloes can run at maximum speed which is the maximum speed of the slowest buffalo."

Analogous to "A chain is as strong as the weakest link"

So what would you do to increase the average speed of the herd of buffaloes. Pretty straight forward, kill the slowest bufallo. So you keep on killing the slowest buffalo untill the average speed of the herd is greater than the threshold you have set.

Now, take the case of the brain. Brain has many divisions, one devoted to listening, one devoted to hearing, one devoted for balance, one for learning, one for memory, body temperature, heart rate and what not. Brain cells all work in tandem to produce whatever trace of intelligence fools have or whatever plenty of genious one genoius may have. A single brain cell is useless. It's all that they do in tandem that results in intelligence and brilliance. So, the maximum speed at the which the brain cells work would be maximum speed at which the slowest brain cell would process or carry any information.

Also, the brain cells which are weak are those which have outlived their life and are getting old. So these old brain cells pull down the efficieny and efficacy of the brain. These old brain cells are also weak. Why? Brain cells are considered old and weak when their cell composition is deteriorating when something goes wrong with cell structure either the cell body or axon or dendrites of the neurons. Neurons are brain cells. So when these brain cells weaken and get old they loose their power to fight toxins as compared to the new or young and healthy cells. So in case of any onslaught of toxins the one most susceptible to death would be the old and weak cells. The young and healthy one would survive.
The same is true for every cell in the body.

Now, coming back to smoking and drinking. Everybody agrees that smoking and drinking do nothing but inject toxins into the body. Once these toxins are inside our body they attack all the cells, weak or strong, old or young. The young ones fight tooth and nail for their right for survival while the old ones, yes yes thay too engage themselves in this fight but eventually they loose and die. This reminds me of a saying in Hindi "Vinaash hi srijan ji janni hai" (Destruction is the mother of all construction). So what we have is that toxins kill the old weak cells and pave way for new ones.

The maximum speed at which the brain functions is the maximum speed of the slowest, read old and weak, brain cell. We have killed the old and weak cells. So in effect we have increased the speed at which the brain functions. Voilla! Also we have made way for new cells to come up which will also increase the average speed by pulling up number of cells working at high speed.

Smoke and booze all day. As much as you can. Bring out the genius in you.
Spread the word.

The naïve caitiff crowd... The Lost cause...

They all were angry; they all were upset at the things taking shape the way they were. There was an air of dissent, jingoistic voices reverberating in every direction. Everyone was ready to do everything that would be needed to done to make their voices heard, their woes, their cry against dictatorship being forced on them. Their prays or preys.

They criticized in the harshest of the words available in the dictionary of any language of the world. The whole bunch felt the same and swayed in the same wave of belligerent overtones. Even the pusillanimous found new surge of that long evading power, potency to stand their cause, not matter how trivial how noteworthy it might be. It seemed as though they were bonded in a new relationship. The homogeneity would have baffled a lot many physicists and others of sorts. The undercurrent of disapproval, frustration and oppression.

All but one; the mole. The traitor of the group who made the Lord know of every thing the protesters would do to make the Lord take note of their dismal state. Everybody had stood by this man for every reason they had. Everybody saw in him their friend, their representative. The traitor made sure his life was as good as one on cloud number 9. Now the lot wished he life be as bad as one in the hell. Though not many still knew of the black sheep, but some did. And they despised him like some thing, which can be worse than the worst. The crowd didn’t know whom to believe. The naïve crowd.

The gale became a storm and transformed into a tempest. An upheaval of sorts never witnessed by anybody. One, which would engulf under its ambit everything that is mortal. One, which would burn down everything it puts its eyes upon. The traitor disappeared, transformed into a sympathizer.

The crowd shouted amongst themselves about what has happened to them, what will happen, what could be done, what could not be done and what not. Everybody took his time to say how much let down he felt, everybody took opportunity to nail the Lord.

But all was lost. None had the courage to go to the Lord and tell their woes. None had the courage to tell the Lord, his elephant is dead. None had the courage to blow the whistle. The mavericks of the crowd buckled under the pressure of the unknown future of the unknown that would unfurl their way. The cause was lost there was nobody to represent them.

They couldn’t find anybody to make bait of him, a scapegoat. One who would voluntarily come in front and say “I’m ready to get nailed, prosecuted, beheaded for you. You the dumb ones.

Dead ... Lines...!

Deadlines are dead. Real Dead. No sign of life. They never move.

Meet Mr. Y. He is a very nice and helpful person. He always wears that care-free (no that napkins); that so pleasing and comforting smile. A perfect Colgate smile. I can see Shilpa Shetty running for her money. He's always there in case you need him for any help.

Meet Mr. X, the subject of this post. An intern, not the likes of white House, but would definitely like to have one under him, in a well-known MNC.

So Mr. X is the Team Lead for Mr. Y.

One beautiful Monday morning Mr. X comes to office, yawns and looks around to see how many are still in that weekend not yet over mood; gulps down gallons of his first cup of coffee, one amongst the dozens he has in a day; switches on his comp, his pal for killing time until its time for dinner, dinner is served for free so Mr. X is in money saving mode; and then finally open up browsers to look for new posts on the blogs he frequently visits.

Knee Jerk Bloopers. No new post.
JstAThot. No new post.
WISISUG . No new post.
Some infinite loop in pensive state . No new post.

”Hey Mr. X” “Yes Mr. Y.” “I have work for you.” blah…blah…blah… That was all confidential:) Anyways that’s none of your business! ”I want a demo on Friday morning.”

”Yeah sure why not. We’ll have a demo on Friday.” Notice the team spirit!

Day One. Monday.
That’s a trivial, very mundane job. Mr. X can finish it much before the deadline. But being the prudent person he is, he starts reading the help files to enhance the almost perfect knowledge (sometimes we need to boast). Great, there’s a new post on one of the regular blogs he visit. Having satisfied his appetite for blogs he turns back to the job at hand. Nothing much to do. Improving perfection.

Day Two. Tuesday.
Merrily Mr. X walks into the strong room to the place which has all the equipment he needs to meet his deadline. Working all day long, sipping coffee after coffee; cigarettes burn as soon as one finishes; our workaholic Mr. X writes the application which controls that equipment. Didn’t I say our Mr. X was a genius fella.

Day Three. Wednesday
OMG! The device needs a device driver, which is not on the PC. No worry, ask the person who had worked on it. Simple. “Sorry Mr. X I don’t have it, but you can download it.” Sure he could and that’s what he did; 600MB of download at a snail’s pace. Took rest of the day for the download.
Mr. X goes to Mr. Y and says “Logistics problem. There’s no driver for it, it took me whole day to download it. The demo can be only on Monday”. Mr. Y is the boss; demo is on Friday. So, Mr. X stayed back this night installs the driver. ERROR. “This needs version x.2 of base driver, you have only x.1”. It’s already 7 pm. Mr. X curses everything he can think of. Another download, 700 MB of base driver version x.2. Installs everything to satisfaction. Now Mr. X needs to test whatever bullshit he has written.

Day Four. Thursday.
Great day. Mr. X will finish his job well before the dead line. Ready for final testing. Darn! Somebody took the Oscilloscope he was supposed to use. Mr. X frantically searches for a spare one. None is available. There one available only tomorrow. But tomorrow morning our Mr. X has to give a demo. Nothing can be done.
Mr. Y is informed but he is not willing to push the deadline.

“Deadlines are dead”

Tomorrow’s Friday.

Colonization of different sorts

Free INDIA!

Are we free? Do we breathe in free air? Does out action, our thoughts, our behavior reflect this ultimate feeling of a being? Did we really get freedom on 15 August 1947?

Surely we did, didn't we? Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru hoisted the tricolor. The British left our soil; we had our own government. We had our own say in every matter that concerned us, the world head us as Indians not as residents in some British colony. Everywhere we saw Indians, not a fellow slave; everywhere we saw Indian industry not a sweat factory churning money to keep the British economy going. Certainly we did.

No we didn’t get freedom on that day and even today we are not free. We got freedom in a limited way, as limited as the face value of the word freedom. We are still under foreign dominance. Though this dominance is not as obvious and conspicuous as it used to be during the days of the Britishers. It’s now subtler, unnoticed.

Do we not realize it, or have we turned a blind eye to it? In fact we have not seen it.

I call it social and economic colonization.

We all, almost all if not all (there are 65.38% of literates), know our national language, know their respective mother tongue. But even then we prefer to converse in a foreign Language. Not that I’m against conversing in this global language one which bridges the gap between linguistically distant people, but that we converse in English every now and then even when the other person knows the national language or the common mother tongue. No doubt language is just a means of communication but why can’t it be the national language or mother tongue.
A subtler sign of social serfdom. Colonization of different sorts.

We have still not come out from highs or should I say lows of seeing that white color on our skin. Don’t we see people of white skin getting a preference for something very trivial? Don’t we prefer a fairer lady for our wife? Doesn’t the fairer one walking by make more heads turn? Our color is brown, but then why aren’t we proud of the color billions of our fellow countrymen share? Those firangi apply all kinds to sun lotions and sit for days in the sun to get tanned. When those friangis do so much to get that shade of brown why are we so shy of it?
A subtler sign of social serfdom. Colonization of different sorts.

Wherever we see we find sign boards for Lee, Levis, Pepe et al.. We feel pride in wearing Loius Phillipe. We feel pride in having a Rolex on our wrist. But we feel shy of wearing khadi, we feel shy of wearing HMT watches.
A subtler sign of economical serfdom. Colonization of different sorts.

Everywhere we see Coca-Cola and Pepsi. If somebody asks us to name a company we think of GE, Microsoft and somewhere towards the end of knowledge queue we hit upon Infosys and Wipro.

Everywhere we see these modern day instruments, tools of colonization and dominance.

A subtler mode of serfdom. Colonization of different sorts.

The Animal Instinct. The Animal Me...

Haven't I.

Haven't I thought of it since the first time I saw you? Haven't I thought of nothing else for two years?... I sat motionless looking at her. I heard the words I had never allowed myself to form, the words I had felt, known, yet had not faced, had hoped to destroy by never letting them be said within my own mind. Now it was as sudden and shocking as if I was saying it to her... Since the first time I saw you... Nothing but your body, the mouth of yours, and the way your eyes looked at me, if ...

Through every sentence I ever said to you, through every conference you thought so safe, through the importance of all the issues we discussed... You trusted me didn't you? To recognize your greatness? To think of you as you deserved - as if you were a woman? ... Don't you know how much I've betrayed? The only bright encounter of my life - the only person I respected - the best being I know - my ally -my partner in desperate battle ... The lowliest of all desires - as my answer to the highest I've met.. Do you know what I am? I thought of it because it should have been unthinkable. For that degrading need, which should never touch you. I've never wanted anyone but you ... I hadn't known what it was like, to want it, until I saw you for the first time. I had thought: Not I, I wouldn't be broken by it ... Since then ... for two years ... with not a moments respite..

Do you know what it's like, to want it? Would you like to hear wha tI thought, when I looked at you... when I lay awake at night ... when I worked, but couldn't drive it away? To bring you down to things you can't conceive - and to know that it's I who have done it. To reduce you to a body, to teach you an animal's pleasure; to see you need it; to see you asking me for it, more and more; to see your wonderful spirit dependent upon the obscenity of your need. To watch you as you are, as you face the world with your clean, proud strength - then to see you in my bed, submitting to any infamous whim I may devise; to any act, which I'll perform for the sole purpose of watching you dishonor and to which you'll submit for the sake of an unspeakable sensation ...

I want you and may I be damned for it!...

Have I read this, thought about this somewhere, sometime? Was I like this and when?

A famous writing, Ayn.

When will we stop?

Today I read an article in TOI that Intel is planning shelving its Tejas project. It was attributed due to the underperformance of its high-end processors as they produced more heat and their performance deteriorated. So now they are going for multi-processor on single silicon wafer architecture, if I may say, than try to squeeze in as much single processor processing power on a single silicon wafer.

I was just wondering when this quest to fill in as much as one can on the tiny silicon wafer would end. Nobody knows, not me at least! People speculate about it.

The semi-conductor journey began in late nineteenth century when Ferdinand Braun made the first cat's whisker diode for radio receivers. The devices made were discrete: that is, they performed only one function and to get any useful thing done from then they had to be wired together to make a functional unit. The story remained the same until in 1959, Jean Hoerni and Robert Noyce(One of the founders of Intel) developed a new process called planar technology at Fairchild Semiconductors which enabled them to diffuse vaious layes onto the silicon surface to make transistors, essentially a network of interconnected discrete components.

It itches me to write here that Fairchild was _the company to have a great impact on silicon industry; which gave us the now famous companies like Intel. Actually there were 8 brilliant people in Shockley Semiconductor Laboratory who left the parent company; they said they were feeling stifled and there ideas did not find any space in the company; though there were reasons other than this. These 8 people were called The Traitorous Eight!

Back on our track. Started only in 1959, by the end of 1960 nearly 90% of all the semiconductor manufactured was Integrated Circuits Since then the semiconductor has never looked back, We had Large Scale Integration then Medium Scale Integration and now Very Large Scale
Integration. There’s no dearth of real estate. There’s plenty to be used.

But now we have probably hit the wall. The process of squeezing as much power into the silicon real estate as much as we could has now seen one a slow down. All the Integrated ICs have transistors which are more or less like toggling device; on and off. For operating any ICs these transistors have to be switched on and off, at a very high rate, for 2GHz processor it toggling almost every 2 nanosecond! This heats up the processor/IC and degrades its performance. With the scale going smaller and smaller the scenario worsens.

For the industry to follow the 5 commandments we moved on to the vertical plane . So instead of expanding in the horizontal plane we expand in the vertical plane. So it would seem that we would continue to grow on the vertical plane as we grew on the horizontal plane and some years down the lane we would face the same problem. Well no for the simple reason that all the discrete entities in either of the plane have to be connected with wires, as small as 90 nanometers wide! So this poses problems as to how to route these wires from one plane to another. It may sound easy but believe me it isn’t so.

So the obvious is to move to something, which does not need wires for transmission, does not generate as much heat! Plasma and light would be the most rewarding. In fact there are nano-transistors , which use plasma as conductor for currents. The light has also been used. They have put small lasers inside the ICs, which emit directed light to the receiver. This reduces the heat generation and also the power consumed. But my question remains the same, when are we going to hit the wall with these optics in ICs.

How long will we go on reducing the size to opto-couplers, Laser diodes and photo-receivers? Will we go on reducing the size until there’s only a photon to represent the optics and only an electron to represent the transistor? Wouldn’t the photon then disturb the electron’s motion to create havoc in our transistor? Even if it doesn’t then aren’t we converging into the realms of Quantum mechanics. Will we move on to neurons taking place of transistors or may be processors/ICs to do all the computation at the speed of light! Will there be something more fascinating than the processor on semiconductor real state, something more fascinating than the neurons, something that anticipates and does in femto-seconds?

Or will there be processors that transport all the computation and problems in the past and programs it to deliver it to the future then, which is now or a few second of past, so that as soon as we given the problem we get the solution or as soon as we think of the problem the solution is before us.

Am I dreaming?

A Wasted Weekend

Click . . .
“The Defense Secretary today said that . . .”

Click . . .
“Everything I do I do it for you. . . ”

Click . . .
“The pitch is as dead as dodo . . .”

Click . . .
“The congress party today elected . . .”

Click . . .
“Ajay, bolo ki tum mujhse pyar karte ho . . .”

Click . . .
“Take 2 teaspoonful of sugar and add it to . . .”

Click . . .
“Varooom . . . Varooom . . .”

Click . . .
“Schumacher has won the . . .”

Click . . .
“He was unstable when he entered the chicane . . .”

Click . . .
“In the evening a group of fiyadeen attacked . . .”

Click . . .
“The Indian stocks crashed like . . .”

Click . . .
“The Japanese Prime Minister . . .”

Click . . .
“Beyonce, in an exclusive interview . . ."

Click . . .
“When the wildest meet, see only at 8 pm on . . ."

Click . . .
“The World Bank today announced . . .”

Click . . .
“The lions hunt in the night . . .”

Click . . .
“The second most voracious predator is the giant ORCA . . .”

Click . . .
Click . . .
Click . . .
Click . . .

Yawn . . .
Another day mercilessly slaughtered . . .
Hungry I slept!

The friends who still are ... friends!

Life is the best teacher. Life also plays you for a fool.

Many a times you find yourself at a cross-road. Doumbfounded you stand and wait. You can't move ahead, the failures of love and life dissuade you. The inertia of past and horrors of future deter you. You can't go back, someone else is in you shoes and there's no room for you. You can't move ahead, the burden of past is too heavy to carry. And this strange cross-road has no other ways except the two!

You wait. Wait for courage to move. Help from self. But it's the life which has closed all doors. You want to move but you are petrified; legs glued. But you have to go on, the clock's ticking. Stagnant you are. People think you are a fool, an idiot wasting your time. It could be that you were and are?

Waiting for that opport-unity, that which never knocked you door. Maybe the unity stood as an insurmountable barrier before you, with your opportunity on the other side. Maybe the unity was and is binding you. No thoughts. No expressions. Blank.

It's like choosing between the life and the air that makes you live that life. You do not want to die but neither can you live! Maybe the unity struck before the opportunity. You lie all alone in the bed thinkin over things you'll say. But that say never came your way. You waited for time to come; the time that ran ahead of you. Like morons you followed. You waited and that wait became eternal. The oppotyunity knocked at the man beside you when you were all geared up for the lovely rendezvous. The man went away with the gift and you were left empty handed. Empty indeed but for the odour of the perfume of the gift and wrapper in rags.

The sweet memories, now sour, make you cynical. You feel like wielding a scimitar and slaying everyone near you, be it friend or foe. Your eyes turn red, the heart burns seeing the man play with the gift. And you stand as a dumb-witted rascal. Every laughter, every word said, every whisper seems to take away a bit of your life.

Suddenly you find that you have no air for life and life to live.

Never have desires. It's the desires that set you on fire. Fire not to reach out for the coveted gift but to burn your own self bit by bit, part by part, slowly very slowly.

Camatose.