Introspection... Realizing Self...

Hi guys and the others,

I know every time someone writes something ... I give a reply even if its just bakwaas (bullshit) ...
Please don't be angry with me as this is the only way I can get through the 8 hours in office...also I am this kind of person who has to reply... See don't u see all this makes me the affected part... It makes me feel like a bait.

Sometimes I am so vela (one with plenty of free time to loiter around with any wierd stupid "idea") that I keep writing to myself even if it's bullshit... and of course I am prompt in replying or commenting to myself.

In the two years that I've spent in college it was really uneventful for me... nobody noticed me... and whenever people did they always thought I am a loudmouth only... (so that's why my blog is Loudmouth) what to do.

Now in the mails and blog posts also people are just tripping upon on me instead of recognizing the talent that I have. I am really a very amusing and bemusing fellow... see the smiles I bring on ur faces with whatever i scribble!

Please accept my mails, my posts with a smile and consider them as a work of art because I spend a lot of my faltu waqt (free waste time(??)) only on them. Its not my aim to offend people and I dont pick on XXX by choice... its a matter of habit...(whether i make sense or nonsense)

Hope from now on u guys will recognise my potential

Love TT

I'm learning to be modest.

An abridged and adapted version.

Probability of me getting married! Very Low!

Everybody around me is getting married. It seems as though if one doesn't get married now one wouldn't ever get married. Some sort of very very good omen. So I thought I would first use my brain, whatever of it was there and is left, to see if I could really get married and if so then what 's the probability.

The Indian Census report gives a lot many details which I've used to get a dismal result.

The sex ratio in India is 933 females for every 1000 males. That gives 495,738,169 females in all, residing in India. The prospects of getting married looked very good until I started peeling off this figure.

Living far away form my home I'd definitely like to have my from a nearby city or some city in the state so that whenever I visit my parents we both can squeeze meeting both of our in-laws in that brief vacation. The census report states that of all the females there are 30% of them from my state. So the number now is 148,721,405.7 females. I can safely discard the 0.7 female, obviously I can't marry 0.7 female. A weird thought.

Being a literate I would like to have a literate wife. The census report says of all the females 54.16% are literate. So that brings down the figure to 80,547,537 females. Almost half, as expected. Being hindu I would like to marry a hindu girl. Hindus being a majority, I can lavishly assume 70% of population being hindu. The number of probables reduce to 56,383,276 . Even now there are pretty good chances of me getting married. But there are still more filters society, my family and myself have put.

The would be bride should be of my caste. The hindu caste system is very complex: there's caste and then a sub caste and lot more. So there are 40% belonging to my caste. The number of females dwindle to 22,553,310. Even now the picture seemed to be pretty interesting.

These were all the necessary "traits", if I may, for girl to be eligible for being my match. These are mandatory eligibility requirements from my family. Roger that.

But putting some sense to it, not all these many females would be of age to marry. Some 10+2 level mathematics reveal that 40% are of age to marry. Hmmm. The number of females now are 9,021,324 . I would definitely have a working wife, that gives much more space to "breathe", when in evening you both come back home tired from work nobody's interested or in mood for that must have husband-wife fights! :) Joke. That gives you a lot of spending power and you can give your children a lot more than you probably had. There are 57% working ladies. So the probables lessen to 5,142,154. Also, I surely do not want my wife to be a doctor or journalist. Meaning, there are few fields of work I'd prefer my wife to work in. Assuming 40% of them are in the domain which I feel my should be wife. Then there are.... 2,056,861 females.

Definitely I would like to have my wife in a good paying job or else what's the point in a professional working lady?? 50%. Left are only 1,028,430. Now comes the funniest part. 60% are single, non-divorced, widowed. A necessary prerequisite pushes down the number to 617,058 . I want my wife to earn good, because I also take a handsome salary, if not now then the time I would get married. Nevertheless, I would prefer my wife to earn but not more than me. If not then it leads to a bit of insecurity in lives of couples, the feeling of one-upmanship; I've seen a lot many couples end their relationship. Numbers reduced by 60% (a conservative percentage) to 370,235

I've always(??) dreamt my wife having long hairs. Census surely doesn't say anything about it, but I can fairly assume an average 50%. 185,117 females.

Of all, whatever is left. Since, I live in a far city my wife would have to relocate to this city. Some probable might not want to.30% (a conservative assumption) striked off. Left: 129,582. Oh! one more necessary condition 10% would be in my blood relation. So only 116,624 can be found suitable.

No one would like to marry a gril from a family whose lineage is bit ... Good family, I'd prefer saying. At least I think this matters. 40% of them preferred. 46,649 left.

Of all those remaining a very extravagant assumption, after all it's me who's going to be married and if I don't make those lavish assumptions I wouldn't get married; 20% of them would have a horoscope which will match my horoscope. Horoscopes are a big thing in Hindu marriages. So 9329 females are left. Now I'm getting bit jittery.

Being the kind of asshole I've been in framing all those necessary requirements and those filters to screw my married life even before I have started one, I'm no one to deny the females to have their own pre-requisites for their grooms. Being overconfident I assume I'd pass the entry-level test in 60% of cases. So that makes the number of probables 5597.

But this world is full of competition. I'm not the only guy who's going to get married. There are plenty of males on look out. Many of those would be of my state, would be working in the city where I work, would be of my religion and cast. Some might even have the same filters, which I have. Furthermore, for men, they might be divorced, widowed or whatever this is not a critical filter. Also there are many more males than females. I make a very conservative assumption of these stags who are on lookout and assume their number to be anywhere near or equal to 6000.

So my probability of getting married is 0.93 or 93%. Even though that's a very good probability figure or say chances of getting married, but my soul sinks when I consider all that conservative assumptions to prevent the number of ‘eligibles’ from falling below any "noticeable" levels, or those liberal assumptions to bring more into the figures. Those were all assumptions to increase the number and the actual number could be much less. The probability, chances of me getting married are abysmally low.

If you understand what havoc misleading statistics and using percentages without knowing what actually they do or mean and using them wherever you want, can create then you know this thing is all stupid.

If not then this is a nightmare from which someone shouldn’t ever ever wake up!

Amnesia or what?

Ok, so this is about my friend up till now but from 1st July my colleague. We both are joining the same MNC. Don’t ask me what they saw in me, leave about him. I guess they didn’t see anything so they thought everything is so deep that retrieving anything in the small time, the time for interview, is not possible.

Anywayz back to our friend. So this guy shifted to a place nearby, some place, which is close to office; only 4 kms away. Earlier he used to live very far, around 15 kms or so. Being the lazy guy he is he actually took one complete month, not a day less not a day more to go to the market to buy a mobile phone handset! Amazing. Plenty of options to decide from or the lack of interest, energy to decide. If you are guessing why this, this is an example. So this guy made his family postpone the shifting process by couple of weeks, two and half actually. Why? He didn’t pack his goods.

His family must have done a lot of visits to the temple that this guy finally packed his goods and the family moved to new house.

The next day we were inundated by praises about the neighbourhood.

Man, there are so many trees. And those parrots. My God! (actually his), I follow Goddess ;) those parrots started screaming at the top of their voices since daybreak. I couldn’t sleep after that and the worse part that’s the best time to sleep. I just wanted to slide into my cozy bed. But since I couldn’t damn those parrots, I thought I would go jogging (I don’t think he would have ever gone jogging in his life before this day). I was back in an hour. Wonderful. That’s all I could say. Cool breeze, fresh air, it was a different feeling. Good. Can we leave? Then I had breakfast, took an auto rickshaw (a scaled down taxi of sorts) and came to office. A perfect start for the day.

Snoring. Zzzzzz.
Guys get up Ok. that was an exaggeration. We did not sleep through out the bed time story like narration. Thank God, Goddess I mean, that was brief.

The whole day passed he was drowned in work, I as usual busy blogging all day.

8.00 pm. “Hey!” “What! You haven’t left, I thought you had left for the day”

“Was busy, by the way do you know how to reach my house?”

“Who me?”

():-$)

I’m not advocating smoking, drinking ...

Recently I was accused of using cheap measures to attract people to visit my blog. Yellow Blogging I was told.

Hmmm…

Great isn’t it. Accusation. Simple. Effortless.

Why cheap because of the smoke and booze post and the recent one on Ding Dong. Ever since I posted that post people near me have more Ding Dong in their utterances than they would usually have. It seems that somehow I’ve struck resonance with their unconscious, which they consciously smother . Why? To be a nice guy to everybody. Don’t do this what would people think? Don’t say that what would people say?

Why was it cheap to others, because they consider it as taboo, to talk about these in open, something which is not allowed by society. Things which were over and again told to them to be not good and everything except good. Maybe, but that T-shirt he wore, it had “If you didn’t have oral sex keep you mouth shut.” It was kewl, but how can they wear it. They wear it because people like you can admire it for a second and then be amazed at their boldness to flaunt it in public.

Isn’t it strange that people who visited, read the post and some agreed with a sigh that things are changing, this is how it happens, you can read all of them; but nobody said it’s cheap! Because all agreed, to some extent, to what was said.

We all like to hear, talk and do things, should I say clandestinely, things which the societal conscience does not allow and be the one perfect for this societal conscience.

Agreed the society exists because of synergy between the individuals. But this society makes people loose their individuality of being the way they are.

Why don’t we live the way we are, do the things the way we want to, talk and behave the way are? If people disagree then they can part ways, anyways it wouldn’t make sense to go along when the two have major differences.

Probably that's the reason why everybody asks "How can you stand him?", but who cares. Probably that’s the reason why my group is small and closely knitted one. Being accepted at face value, no affected mannerism.

The accusation was in humor (I think so) but the recursive thought process made me write this post.