Probability of me getting married! Very Low!

Everybody around me is getting married. It seems as though if one doesn't get married now one wouldn't ever get married. Some sort of very very good omen. So I thought I would first use my brain, whatever of it was there and is left, to see if I could really get married and if so then what 's the probability.

The Indian Census report gives a lot many details which I've used to get a dismal result.

The sex ratio in India is 933 females for every 1000 males. That gives 495,738,169 females in all, residing in India. The prospects of getting married looked very good until I started peeling off this figure.

Living far away form my home I'd definitely like to have my from a nearby city or some city in the state so that whenever I visit my parents we both can squeeze meeting both of our in-laws in that brief vacation. The census report states that of all the females there are 30% of them from my state. So the number now is 148,721,405.7 females. I can safely discard the 0.7 female, obviously I can't marry 0.7 female. A weird thought.

Being a literate I would like to have a literate wife. The census report says of all the females 54.16% are literate. So that brings down the figure to 80,547,537 females. Almost half, as expected. Being hindu I would like to marry a hindu girl. Hindus being a majority, I can lavishly assume 70% of population being hindu. The number of probables reduce to 56,383,276 . Even now there are pretty good chances of me getting married. But there are still more filters society, my family and myself have put.

The would be bride should be of my caste. The hindu caste system is very complex: there's caste and then a sub caste and lot more. So there are 40% belonging to my caste. The number of females dwindle to 22,553,310. Even now the picture seemed to be pretty interesting.

These were all the necessary "traits", if I may, for girl to be eligible for being my match. These are mandatory eligibility requirements from my family. Roger that.

But putting some sense to it, not all these many females would be of age to marry. Some 10+2 level mathematics reveal that 40% are of age to marry. Hmmm. The number of females now are 9,021,324 . I would definitely have a working wife, that gives much more space to "breathe", when in evening you both come back home tired from work nobody's interested or in mood for that must have husband-wife fights! :) Joke. That gives you a lot of spending power and you can give your children a lot more than you probably had. There are 57% working ladies. So the probables lessen to 5,142,154. Also, I surely do not want my wife to be a doctor or journalist. Meaning, there are few fields of work I'd prefer my wife to work in. Assuming 40% of them are in the domain which I feel my should be wife. Then there are.... 2,056,861 females.

Definitely I would like to have my wife in a good paying job or else what's the point in a professional working lady?? 50%. Left are only 1,028,430. Now comes the funniest part. 60% are single, non-divorced, widowed. A necessary prerequisite pushes down the number to 617,058 . I want my wife to earn good, because I also take a handsome salary, if not now then the time I would get married. Nevertheless, I would prefer my wife to earn but not more than me. If not then it leads to a bit of insecurity in lives of couples, the feeling of one-upmanship; I've seen a lot many couples end their relationship. Numbers reduced by 60% (a conservative percentage) to 370,235

I've always(??) dreamt my wife having long hairs. Census surely doesn't say anything about it, but I can fairly assume an average 50%. 185,117 females.

Of all, whatever is left. Since, I live in a far city my wife would have to relocate to this city. Some probable might not want to.30% (a conservative assumption) striked off. Left: 129,582. Oh! one more necessary condition 10% would be in my blood relation. So only 116,624 can be found suitable.

No one would like to marry a gril from a family whose lineage is bit ... Good family, I'd prefer saying. At least I think this matters. 40% of them preferred. 46,649 left.

Of all those remaining a very extravagant assumption, after all it's me who's going to be married and if I don't make those lavish assumptions I wouldn't get married; 20% of them would have a horoscope which will match my horoscope. Horoscopes are a big thing in Hindu marriages. So 9329 females are left. Now I'm getting bit jittery.

Being the kind of asshole I've been in framing all those necessary requirements and those filters to screw my married life even before I have started one, I'm no one to deny the females to have their own pre-requisites for their grooms. Being overconfident I assume I'd pass the entry-level test in 60% of cases. So that makes the number of probables 5597.

But this world is full of competition. I'm not the only guy who's going to get married. There are plenty of males on look out. Many of those would be of my state, would be working in the city where I work, would be of my religion and cast. Some might even have the same filters, which I have. Furthermore, for men, they might be divorced, widowed or whatever this is not a critical filter. Also there are many more males than females. I make a very conservative assumption of these stags who are on lookout and assume their number to be anywhere near or equal to 6000.

So my probability of getting married is 0.93 or 93%. Even though that's a very good probability figure or say chances of getting married, but my soul sinks when I consider all that conservative assumptions to prevent the number of ‘eligibles’ from falling below any "noticeable" levels, or those liberal assumptions to bring more into the figures. Those were all assumptions to increase the number and the actual number could be much less. The probability, chances of me getting married are abysmally low.

If you understand what havoc misleading statistics and using percentages without knowing what actually they do or mean and using them wherever you want, can create then you know this thing is all stupid.

If not then this is a nightmare from which someone shouldn’t ever ever wake up!